You voted so here it is! Your guide to feeling sexier and being more in tune with your sexuality.
But first, why is this even important for a woman to do?
There's many benefits, the first being improved mental health. A higher sense of self and increased connection with yourself can reduce anxiety and stress levels. It also elevates mood and does wonders for your confidence and self esteem. Women that feel sexy and are in tune with themselves usually have more of a positive body image and higher levels of self love. Doing this makes you feel empowered and enhances intimacy, whether that be with a partner or with yourself. This even leads women to communicating more openly about sex and their needs. Many women that are not in tune with their sexuality and do not feel they are sexy, are hesitant to express their needs and wants during sex. They will likely only be focused on their partners pleasure and making sure they are satisfied, putting theirs to the side.
To start feeling sexier, you need to make some changes in your day to day life that will allow you to feel differently and start seeing yourself differently. I'm going to give you several tips, some easier than others, but all very effective.
When you're at home relaxing, I need you to ditch the hoodie and sweats some days and put on luxurious pajamas and a nice robe. The price tag doesn't have to be luxurious, shop on amazon or anywhere you want, but choose a nicer matching set or a sexy little nightgown paired with a nice robe. Yes, you are to do this even if you are by yourself and no one is going to see you. This isn't about anyone else, this is all about YOU. You do not have to do this 7 nights a week, but try to start doing it a couple of times.
Revamp your home a bit. I don't mean spend tons of money on redecorating if that's not in your budget, but make small changes to give your space more of a vibey feel. Declutter, get new accent pillows, maybe a dimming lamp or mood light. Change up your bedding to feel lux but on a budget. The point is to make your space a place you feel great in, a place you want to be, a place you'd love to bring another person in.
Light candles, play music, if you have a bathtub, run yourself a bath and do the above.
Start drinking out of pretty glassware just because. It makes something very simple seem special and pretty. Sometimes I like to put my protein shakes in a wine glass because I don't feel like drinking alcohol but want to feel fancy. I have this pretty glass shaped like a voluptuous woman's body...some days I drink sparkling water out of it to feel extra nice.
Make your presentation a priority, even if no one is going to see you or you're just running to the grocery store. You don't need to blow out your hair and do your best winged liner but a little concealer, blush and cute joggers will go along way. Physical beauty is not everything but when we look good we feel better and that's just a fact.
Experiment with your style, hair and make up. Maybe you've seen something on another person but you're not confident enough to show it to the world yet. Rock it home and test it out.
DANCE! Do any activities that allow you to move your body and make you feel powerful.
If you are willing to invest financially, I highly recommend treating yourself to a boudoir photoshoot where you can get yourself in your sexual energy captured for you to have forever. For anyone that doesn't know, it's a very eye opening experiencing to see yourself in that kind of light. If this is something you'd consider, you must go to Rou https://www.roushootsboudoir.com
Ok now onto the JUICY STUFF, which can be more uncomfortable for some, especially in the beginning...
You need to get TURNED ON by YOU. If that made you cringe, it's ok but promise me and promise yourself that you're going to do what I say so you can get past that!
I know this sounds really uncomfortable and weird but I need you to look at yourself in a full body mirror... naked... and I need to you find AT LEAST ONE THING that you find attractive about yourself. Ideally I'd love for you to find more than one, but please, at least one. It doesn't matter what size or shape you are, how much weight you've gained or lost, how much stretch marks and cellulite you might have, I promise you if you take the time to do this and get past the first couple minutes that feel so awkward, you'll come up with something. Maybe you like the way a certain body part looks when the light hits it. Maybe you like the color of your skin. There will be something and don't stop looking until you find it!
I also encourage you to repeat guided self love affirmations each day. I like @theaffirmationbabe but you can look on Spotify or Apple Music for any affirmations you like. If you are on the lower end of self esteem and confidence, I recommend doing these in the morning and before bed so you start and end your day with self love.
I've given you a bunch of things to incorporate into your daily life that will make you feel sexier, but to really be in tune with your sexuality, we need to step things up a notch.
In addition to everything I've just said, here are a couple of other directives that will get you to connect with yourself on a deeper level.
Make time to explore and understand your own body. What you like, what brings you pleasure, what you dislike.
Pencil in time for pleasure, not only with your partner but with yourself too.
Don't be afraid to educate yourself about sex. Read about it, listen to podcasts or books about it.
For some people, talking about sex can feel uncomfortable, but it's an important part of life whether you are single or in a relationship. More often than not, sex is getting discussed in my sessions with clients because they are millennial women who are single in the dating world or in a relationship having some kind of problem.
I hope this was helpful. I'd love to hear feedback or requests to write about this further. Email me laurenwalsh@bekindtoyourmindcounselingnj.com
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