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  • Writer's pictureLauren Walsh

So, you want to love yourself + be more confident? Here's what to do and the step you can't skip.

The ability to love yourself and feel confident are 2 things that are highly desired by women. Women want all the tips + tricks, the how to's, the do's + don't's and while there are so many out there to try, many women are still not seeing much success in these departments.

A lot of women have mastered how to get quick mood boosters by doing certain activities like exercising or shopping but that isn't how you attain long lasting results. That's temporary joy. Self love and confidence go so much deeper.

Ready to learn how to start loving yourself + building confidence?

First things first, who are you and who do you want to be? You can't start loving yourself until you know yourself...the same way you wouldn't be able to love another person you didn't know. You also can't build real confidence when that foundation is missing.

So, who are you exactly? No surface level sh*t like what you do for work, the music you like or your favorite color. I'm talking who you are at your core. What are you like? What do you value? What do you stand for? What are you passionate about? What excites you on the inside? What turns you on? What are your dreams? What are your fantasies? What are your goals? It's ok if you don't have these answers, but start here and find out more about you.

Now...without all the noise and opinions of others...who do you want to be? I recommend going here next after you do the above and are clear about who you are on the inside. It's ok if you are nowhere near where you'd like to be and it's also ok if you're not sure. We aren't just born into the highest version of ourselves. We don't magically become her. We have to create her. Build her overtime. Start laying down some of the foundation for her.

If you're having a hard time or this feels overwhelming, think about the following questions and you'll probably get unstuck.

What women do you admire and why? These could be celebrity women or ones you know personally. Why are you admiring them? Is it their success? Their strength? Confidence? Financial wealth? Beauty? Being in your ideal version of a relationship? Killer career? Maybe a combination of everything? That "she has it all" type woman.

Take that "she has it all" concept and apply it to you. What does that look like for your future self? If people were saying "she has it all" about you, why would they be saying that?

What does your highest most ideal self want to achieve? What does she look like? How does she dress? What kind of people does she have in her world? What does she do for fun or to relax? Where does she live? How does she decorate her home? How does she show up in the world?

Once you have a clear picture of who you are and who you're becoming, this is where you start building that long lasting confidence. Try these...

4 strategies to create LONG LASTING CONFIDENCE:

1. Get in tune with your strengths. Your positive traits. Your best qualities. Your strengths get you to where you want to go so become aware of them and use them.

2 .Practice body positivity. How you feel about the way you look impacts your confidence. Could be positively or negatively, depending on your feelings. If your body isn't where you want it to be, THAT IS OK. Start working on accepting yourself as is and do so each time you go through a change. Try focusing on what your body can do, rather than its flaws.

Extra Credit: Look at yourself in the mirror naked, take a couple mins to really look from all angles and find AT LEAST ONE THING you find attractive.

3. Practice gratitude. Write down everything big + small that you're thankful for. I recommend keeping this in the notes section of your phone to have on hand when a low mood strikes. Keeping a gratitude list reminds you of all that's good in your life, which helps build up self worth.

I saved the best for last...

4. That highest version of you...that ideal self... that future woman that has it all... start showing up as her today. Find little ways to start being that girl, today. Little steps lead to big changes. Get to stepping :)

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