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  • Writer's pictureLauren Walsh

Stop Being Afraid to Suck at Something New

When a woman is not on the same page as her friends when it comes to relationships, this tends to be the start of a stressful and lonely time. Your friends aren't as available to you as they once were and it totally sucks! They're still your friends, but things are changing and change is hard. Change feels scary and it raises anxiety. When this is happening, often times women will fixate on meeting someone and all they can think about is finding a husband so they can fit in with their friends again. So much self comparison happens here! And it can be really detrimental to your mental health.

Being hyper focused on finding a soul mate is NOT the route you want to go. It's one thing to stay strong in your desire for a solid life partner and wish that for your future, but sitting around waiting for him to come knocking on your door or obsessing over every man you meet hoping to turn him into "the one" is a sure fired way to leave you feeling sh*t. Repeatedly.

Instead, pour all that focus and energy into YOU. Your dreams are still there, in the back of your mind, but instead of obsessing over an outcome you can't control, you're working on yourself...which is the ONLY person you can actually change.

The most important thing you need to be doing during this time is PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE! Get involved in activities that are good for your mental health. This is how you meet new people, build new friendships, develop healthy habits, keep yourself busy, create new routines and keep your mind stimulated.

There are so many things you can do. I highly recommend using Instagram & TikTok as search engines to explore what's in your area. The MindBody and Class Pass apps are a must as well. I'm going to list some fabulous ideas below, but the possibilities are endless. When you start researching, you're going to be shocked at what's been under your nose the whole time. My favorite hobby is dance and what is now my favorite studio has been down the block from my house for 6 years. 6 years and I had no idea! I'd drive by all the time but I was in the zone and just not paying attention. I discovered it only 2 years ago, all because of Instagram!

Here a few ideas:

Fitness classes [bootcamp, boxing, spin], yoga, stretching, dance fitness or choreography classes...even pole dancing, cooking classes, pottery + art classes, book clubs...

Getting involved and putting yourself out there is a GUARANTEED way to make new connections. Some of my best friends are people I've met in gyms or classes. You can't help but start to interact if you keep showing up to the same place. Conversation, social media happens so easily. You just have to show up and be consistent.

I know what some of you are thinking..."I don't have anyone to go with." "I never work out, I have no idea what I'm doing." "I can't dance." "That's so awkward." "I'm going to make a fool of myself." GO ANYWAY! and DO IT ALONE! You don't need someone to accompany you. Give yourself a pep talk and just show up. Will you feel uncomfortable? Absolutely. But guess what... we don't grow from comfort zones! If it's an activity you're trying for the first time... are you going to suck? Yup most likely, unless you have some sort of natural gift. Oh well, do it anyway! There can be snobs anywhere you go in life but for the most part, people that are involved in these activities are supportive and so welcoming of newbies. Everyone started somewhere and most recognize that. You should've seen me in my first dance class. I was a train wreck! I couldn't remember a single step. Now, I've made soooo much progress and a group of amazing girlfriends!

Also, when it comes to physical activities, people are only concerned with themselves when the class is going on. No one's staring at you and noticing that you messed up or are having trouble keeping up. They're looking at their own reflection and trying to just get through the class. Another funny story about me... a few years ago I was in a gym class and during the warmup, I tripped over my untied shoelace and fell. I didn't face plant or anything but I fell down and broke my wrist. I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom so I could get myself together and figure out what to do. I think the only person that noticed I fell was the person that was right next to me. It was a class full of people and maybe one noticed that I fell and broke a limb lol. This just proves that people really are in their own worlds. Don't let my story hold you back from taking a fitness class! Just make sure to double knot those laces :)

Please, please, please stop being afraid to suck at something new... and stop forgetting that things take work and consistency. It's holding you back in all areas of life.

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